What price our inner peace and happiness?

I recently received an email from an ex-client of mine, mentioning a friend she felt could really benefit from my coaching. Having gained such huge personal rewards herself from coaching, my ex-client knows that her friend too would gain a great deal from a similar approach.

Yet this friend tends to be 'frugal' with her money (despite being comfortably off) and therefore is proving hard to convince of the benefit from investing in some coaching.

She isn't alone. I often come across people who've maybe experienced some of my work - perhaps through reading my newsletter or attending a group workshop - and who know some coaching could be the ideal solution to their personal challenges. Yet actually committing their money to doing the coaching is a bridge too far, and the coaching never happens. This can even happen after we've met and spent some considerable time identifying the different ways in which their individual coaching programme would impact on them and their lives.

Usually the person concerned is 'stuck', perhaps has tried self-help books or other therapies to deal with their 'stuckness' move forward, and has found this not to be effective. Often they know, and I know, that they could make some huge personal strides through coaching. But they never commit to the coaching programme. A few months or years later they're in the same place they were before - still stuck, still waiting for things to change so they feel happier, less stressed, more organised, or whatever. Their life is still 'on hold' - they never pick up the baton and decide to take real control of their life and make it the best it can be. Hugely frustrating!

It's an interesting set of priorities - often the washing machine, the holiday, the car, or even those things purchased in order to deal better with their current stress and 'stuckness' (gym membership, a massage, ready-made meals) are put first before investing in their own peace and happiness.

Perhaps it's because coaching, before experiencing it, is too far away from their current understanding, to feel a good place to commit their hard-earned cash. Or perhaps it's that making changes to their lives, however positive, is scary. It could be either or both of those things.

My hunch, though, is that we tend to be very bad at giving ourselves priority - putting our own needs first and investing in something that will have a powerful, positive effect on the rest of our lives. We feel better at putting almost anything else first - it feels less selfish, or maybe it just feels a more acceptable place to put our money.

Yet what price could ever be put on our own wellbeing? This is our life - our one chance to make a difference and be the best we can be, to live life in all its fullness. How long will we put that off?

I guess all I can do is keep raising awareness of coaching, keep banging on about the benefits coaching brings, and ask people who've experienced it to talk about it with others, so, when the need arises, more people will feel it appropriate (essential?) to invest in themselves and their own peace and happiness.

Let me leave you with a quote from the ex-client I mentioned at the beginning of this blog:
"Many many thanks again Elizabeth for everything you did with me with the life coaching. I really am so grateful that you helped me get from a place where I hope I'm never going to be again to somewhere so much better. I'm feeling very positive about everything in my life just now, and without your help, I couldn't have done it."

What price your inner peace and happiness?

Holiday grief

What is it about school holidays?

In the busy run up to Christmas last year, we had a 15 week term - 7 weeks between summer and the autumn half-term, and 8 from then till the Christmas break. Our children were on their knees by the time they finished school for Christmas, what with a hugely long term and the usual raft of Christmas activities. In fact they were only just recovered enough to return to school at the end of the 2 week Christmas break.

This term, the schools in our area broke up for their half-term break after just 5 weeks, and finish for Easter after only 4 more weeks - a total term of 9 weeks. The summer term - exam season - then lasts 15 weeks. What a nonsense!

Surely the school holidays are to allow both pupils and staff to have a rest and get ready for the following term. Why then would they need a rest after 4 weeks at some times and double that, 8 weeks, at others?

Doubtless the current short term is down to Easter being particularly early this year. Yet why do the school holidays need to be attached to Bank holiday periods? In fact, if school holdiays weren't attached to these periods, maybe booking holidays would prove easier and cheaper.

Perhaps someone could enlighten me? Perhaps the people who make the decisions about school holidays could start to think from the pupils' and teachers' point of view

...or am I the only one who thinks this way?

What's your gremlin?

I've been reading about gremlins recently.

A lot of us seem to suffer their nasty habits.

I'm talking about that voice inside you that niggles away at you, deskills you, undermines you, and generally does you down. It stands in your way, stopping you from being the best you can be and from growing as a person.

Sounds familiar?

A client of mine mentioned recently that she has her own gremlin. He looks like a cross between a koala bear and a tatty, malevolent teddy bear. He smells musty, has sharp claws and evil looking eyes.

From time to time her gremlin climbs up onto her shoulder and feeds her lots of negative stuff. You probably know the sort of thing: "You don't deserve that", "You'll never be able to do this", "Who do you think you are?", "What on earth possessed you to do that?" and so on.

Fortunately, my client has found a way of dealing with her gremlin - poking him in the eyes or twisting his claws till he gives up and goes away.

Another client tells her gremlin to stop, then puts it in a box and closes the lid firmly.

It doesn't much matter how you deal with your gremlin, just that you do deal with it and put it firmly in its place. Gremlins like that only spell trouble and we don't need them in our lives.

The book I've been reading about gremlins is Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. Fascinating stuff, all about first recognising and then dealing with that inner bully that stands in our way between ourselves and reaching our potential. Click on the link and take a quick look (oooh, and it's also an easy read with lots of pictures along the way!)

Internet junkie

I've taken a step outside my own comfort zone this week - I've signed up to ecademy - the business networking website.

It's a fascinating site - full of people networking with each other the internet and across the world. I've been having conversations with people from as far afield as Russia, Fiji and Australia.

It's also scary stuff - there's so much to find out about what it offers, how it works, etiquette etc. It can all feel a bit overwhelming.

Yet, I've managed to get my own profile up there for all the world (literally) to see - take a look, and let me know what you think. And I've even managed to have a few 'conversations' with others on ecademy, and to offer advice to someone leading a panel discussion about careers.

So, scary, and with a distinct possibility of eating into a huge amount of time, if I let it. But also, lots of potential for 'meeting' people from all over the world, helping each other out, and, who knows, maybe gaining a few new clients.

Stepping out of our comfort zones tends to mean bit of a leap of faith. Yet without challenging ourselves to do something different, our world could become 'samey', unfulfilling and dull.

Who knows where this will lead? And what's more, it could be fun!

Watch this space!