Have a Happy Christmas!

This is my chance just to wish all my readers a very happy Christmas!

I hope that your Christmas is happy, relaxing and fun - and that you feel restored afterwards.

I'm certainly looking forward to something of a rest - though, of course, with two lively children and a houseful on Christmas Day that can be a challenge!

I'm also looking forward to some good walks in the fresh air, and hopefully some crisp, sunny winter days.

Many of us will have had a hectic run up to Christmas - whether with work, family, or all the preparations. So it's great to reflect on what will restore your body and mind over the Christmas break and see how far you can build those things into your plans. That way, you can start the new year on a much firmer footing, with energy and calm to take you forward.

Anyway, I'm off now to write out the list of what we need to buy for Christmas dinner and to wrap some final Christmas presents.

Happy Christmas to you all!

Stress at Christmas

We have a full house to look forward to on Christmas Day - 20 people for dinner, in fact!

This isn't the first time we've entertained large numbers at Christmas. In fact, 20 is rather smaller than the norm.

However, I can already feel the first pangs of stress as the day gets nearer.

If you find the approach of Christmas (with or without a houseful) brings similar feelings, you're not alone. Christmas is apparently one of the most stressful times of the year, with all the activity, spending, visits and expectations.

It's amazing though how much control we do have over our own stress...

Part of it is about having realistic perceptions about the 'stressful' event. For example, I know I've managed perfectly well before to host Christmas for a large group with no major disasters and everyone has enjoyed themselves. In fact, I even managed to produce Christmas dinner for a large gathering once when the oven broke down on Christmas Eve. So I have no reason to believe this Christmas will be a failure.

Another aspect of controlling our stress, is being proactive to minimise its impact. For instance, I've already set aside time later today to sit down with notebook and pen and draft out a timetable for all the tasks we need to do to make Christmas a success. So I'll be looking at things like finalising the menu, compiling a shopping list, allocating time in the diary to shop for and prepare everything, and putting together a timetable for cooking the Christmas meal.

And a vital aspect to reducing stress is learning how to relax and finding time for relaxation. So I have allocated 3 evenings between now and Christmas just to have some time out - who knows, I may even have a long soak in a lavendar bath, complete with candles and wine! Oh, and I might just take a listen to my Ultimate Relaxation CD, to help me quickly and fully unwind.

As you approach Christmas, or indeed any phase when you recognise things could be stressful, check out what you're doing to keep your stress to a minimum - because there really are things we can do to reduce our stress.

And if you'd like your own copy of my Ultimate Relaxation CD - or know someone who'd value one as a Christmas present - they're on sale at the amazingly low price of £7.99 (+pp). Phone me (+44 (0)115 925 2552) or email me (elizabeth.juffs@ejlifecoaching.co.uk) today to order your copy.

Getting rid of the 'shoulds' and the 'oughts'

I was coaching a lady yesterday who has her work cut out - looking after 2 challenging boys single-handedly, holding down a stressful job, and going through a messy divorce....all in the run-up to Christmas!

Not surprisingly, she's finding things a bit of a struggle.

What her body is telling her is that she needs more rest and time out. What her head is telling her is that she 'should' do such and such or 'ought' to do this or that. It's a constant battle and it's wearing her out.

Here's a good tip if you're bombarded with 'shoulds' or 'oughts' - change the phrase to 'I want to...' (do whatever). If you can't honestly say you want to do something, then don't do it. You have the choice - it's your life. And if you know you have to do the something that you don't want to do e.g. go to work in a position you don't enjoy, then start today to find ways to get yourself out of that situation so that you no longer have to do the things you want to in the long term.

The lady I'm coaching is starting to realise that the 'shoulds' and the 'oughts' deserve much less of a place than the recognition of her needs and wants. That way her life will feel much less of a struggle and much more satisfying.

What 'oughts' and 'shoulds' can you dump today?

Uplift your spirits

Well, it's panto season again (oh no it isn't! oh yes it is!) and I was at the read-through for the local pantomime last night. We're putting on a version of 'Snow White' which includes all the usual farce, jokes and cross-dressing! I've been involved with the group for 7 years now, one on stage and the other six directing or helping the director. And my husband, who'd never had any involvement in amateur dramatics previously, has discovered a hidden talent for making people laugh - particularly as the back end of a cow! It's been a lot of fun.

You've probably read the research that shows a good laugh as being one of the best antidotes to stress and illness. It's proven that the relaxation and hormones released as a result of laughing reduce your stress levels and lead to better health.

And it's not just the laughter that can make all the difference. Getting involved in an activity which not only takes you away from your stress and lifts your spirits, but also gives something back or adds to the enjoyment of others, can make you feel much more positive. Activities might include coaching a children's football team, singing in a group that puts on concerts or shows, helping in a local charity shop or assisting in your child's school.

The panto we're involved in not only gives a huge amount of joy to the local community, but also contributes its not insignificant proceeds to different charities each year - and all that's on top of the obvious enjoyment of participating.

If you want to uplift your spirits, find a great way to share your talents and time and I can almost guarantee you'll feel better. And if you can't do that, then buy a ticket for your local panto and enjoy a good laugh!