Too little sleep

I didn't sleep well last night and found myself churning round in my head the things I needed to get done. Yes, it happens to Life Coaches too!

After an hour or so of tossing and turning, I got up to have a bite to eat and read.

Then I settled back into bed and had a go at the relaxation technique which I use with some of my clients.

I finally drifted into an hour or so of deep sleep before it was time to get up.

Needless to say, I'm not firing on quite as many cylinders as I'd like today!

Nevertheless, I feel so much better. As soon as I could this morning, I sat down and wrote out all the things I needed to do, firstly today and then over the next couple of months or so. I then decided when I'd do each thing on my list - allocating actual times to those tasks for today, and weeks or months for the other items.

Suddenly, the stress of all those things bearing down on me is lifted and I have a clear action plan for achieving them. And, boy, does it feel better!

What's more, I'm sure I'll have a much more restful sleep tonight.

If you or someone you know would like help with dealing with stress (from someone who knows what it's like to feel stressed), I'm running another 'Managing Your Stress' workshop in Nottingham on Wednesday 21 November. Fellow Life Coach, Suzie Cousins, and I will be sharing tips on how you can take control over your stress and we'll be giving away copies of our free Ultimate Relaxation CD.

Get in touch if you'd like to book or find out more: tel 0115 925 2552 or email elizabeth.juffs@ejlifecoaching.co.uk

Thanks for reading this far. I hope you're finding something interesting/useful/entertaining in my blog. I am, however, very open to feedback so do let me know if there's anything you think I should be doing, or could be doing better.

Coaching or counselling 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about the difference as I see it between coaching and counselling.

Interestingly, a coaches forum that I belong to has since taken up this topic for an online discussion. There's been a good exchange of varying opinions, though the majority seem to concur with the points I made - that it all depends on whether the person is well enough to want and be able to move forward with their life.

One posting on the online discussion summed up the general feeling neatly as follows:
"When a client considers themselves to be ill and wants to get better, they need a therapist.
When a client considers themselves to be well and wants to get better, they will benefit from my coaching."

I always check when a meet a potential client for the first time whether they are ready for coaching - whether it's something we both believe they can really benefit from. If not we don't go ahead and I suggest alternatives that might suit them better - it's important to me that clients get real value from their investment in coaching.

You might like to know that the client I was about to start work with when first wrote about this topic who was suffering from depression is making huge strides. There is a little more twinkle in his eyes and lightness in his step each time we meet. He's making some important decisions about his life and is becoming far more positive in his outlook. Last time we met he said: "I feel to have moved a long way. I wasn't enjoying life and didn't feel successful. I do now."

Fabulous! It's what makes my job worthwhile - being part of this personal journey and success.

Coaching can, and does, work - it just depends on whether the client is ready and willing to take that personal journey forward.

If you'd like to read more about the coaching/counselling distinction, there's quite an interesting article here.

And if you'd like to add your thoughts about coaching v counselling, I'd love to hear them, so do post a comment!

What a ride!

There seems to be a lot on the television at the moment about cosmetic surgery in all its forms, which is becoming ever more popular on both sides of the Atlantic.

Personally, I can understand people having cosmetic surgery if that will enhance their enjoyment of life and help them feel better about themselves. It’s about the surgery playing a support role rather than a centre stage one.

I do, however, have concerns about people undergoing surgery whose lives revolve around only looking better or younger or more attractive. Who submit to the knife because of perceived pressure to look good or better than they do already.

It is also definitely a mistake if the person concerned believes it will solve all their problems e.g. give them the confidence they dream of, bring them a better job or relationship. That approach is almost guaranteed to fail and can compound a problem that is better resolved elsewhere through counselling or coaching or self determination.

How much better to decide enjoy life and make the changes needed to bring us the greatest fulfillment – of which cosmetic surgery may or may not play a part.

There’s a great quote I was sent once by a client of mine, which explains this beautifully – and also reminds us that life is there to be enjoyed:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body.
Rather.....
to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming:-
"WOO HOO WHAT A RIDE!!"

I wonder what ride you’ll give yourself today?

Rush, rush, rush...

We can often feel so busy these days that we fail to appreciate what's right in front of our eyes.

I was reminded of this this week when walking my children to and from school. Perhaps like many of you, we tend to see very little of our neighbours - everyone's either busy in their homes or jumping into the car to get to work or their next appointment. We dash from one commitment to another barely stopping to take breath, let alone notice what's around us.

Yet this week I've had chance, on my walks up and down the road, to see the glowing red colour of the Virginia Creeper leaves outside our door, the luminous blue of the sky on sunny days, feel the fresh early-morning breeze against my face, hear the birds calling their greeting to the day, see the smooth, shiny conkers freshly fallen and opened on the pavement, and even stop and pass the time of day with the postman and the few neighbours up and about.

All these are here for the taking. But do we stop and partake? Or do we rush on without a thought except for how we'll fit in the list of things we wish to achieve?

Perhaps we'd all enjoy a happier, less stressful life if we just took a moment, here and there, to stop and appreciate, in and amongst our busy days?

What do you think?